JOHNNY ♦
@mr_awesome500LONGING.RUSTED.SEVENTEEN.DAYBREAK.FURNACE.NINE.BENIGN.
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Staring at the ocean all this time made me realize something important. I should have brought sunglasses. I've been squinting for 20 years
I only met my dad a few times. All he wanted to talk about was me joining the family business. He always put work before me.
Obi-wan ran away & became a hermit Yoda ran away & became a hermit My dad left & became a Sith I come from a long, proud line of quitters
My father did some truly awful, despicable things. Then again, who am I to judge? I made it to first base with my sister.
My deal breakers for a relationship: 1) being related to me That's pretty much it.
That rock wasn't there yesterday. Someone moved it. Someone else is here! Wait, I moved it. No one else is here. Damn that rock.
I don't think my dad was really conceived by midichlorians. My grandma made that up so she didn't have to teach him about sex.
Living alone has one perk. I can drink milk straight from the jug. Or at least I could if I had milk. Which I don't. Fuck.
My dad didn't seem that surprised to find out he had 2 kids I wonder if I have any other siblings The Force is no substitute for a condom.
A beautiful butterfly drifted by in the cool breeze. The sudden motion startled me. I killed it with my lightsaber.
I'm not truly alone. I sense other life forms deep within the ocean. I reach out to them with the Force. Nothing answers. Fish are dicks
When Kylo Ren was little, he asked me how I lost my hand. I said, "Running with Scissors." He was afraid of arts and crafts after that.
I do 100 push-ups every morning. But I'm old, so I use the Force. My mind is so ripped.
R2-D2 turned his half of the map into a fancy hologram. That's not what I gave him I drew the real map in crayon on a restaurant placemat.
One time I told Leia we were actually triplets. She got really excited Then I told her the third kid is Chewbacca He looks just like her.
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