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Damn it my premium membership just expired on porn hub! #teamtitties
All I want for Christmas is a 12 pack of Trojans... Fuck I'm almost out and I don't wanna be a father yet #Trojanman
At a party last night and somebody jumped out the window on the third floor because they were so high they thought they could fly #dumbass
My power button on my Iphone just broke. How am I supposed to screenshot Katherine Webbs nudes now?!
How the fuck did I finish 5th?! I'm white and good at football #heilfuckingmanziel
Jameis you homo. I hope auburn destroys your pussy #jailjameis
I should win the Heisman cuz I still haven't got caught for sexual assaulting anyone #jailjameis
If I don't win the Heisman again I'm going to be flipping tits tonight
@azahel181 Just keep blaming the refs. It was all their fault #sarcastictweet
Evans is passed out on the floor and our 82' plasma is busted. Who cares I'm fucking loaded #JohnnyFuckingFootball
They only gave Mccaron the award cuz they felt bad for him... Sorry bro I stole ur girl... #Webbonmydick
Just got out of a DUI by giving a cop an autograph five dollars off. Ya that's right. Cops pay me for drunk driving
Might have to become a chubby chaser to stay warm at night, it's getting that cold on campus! #BigGirlsWhereYouAt
Some sour bitches been reporting me who the fuck you think you are?! I'm Johnny Fuckin Football
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm jonny manziel, I'm fucking better than you
You guys sit there criticizing my every move while Im having the time of my life over here #PartyHard #LifesTooShortToGiveAFuck
This little kid just asked for my autograph! Does he think they're free or something? How do you think I got all this cash? #MoneyBadger
I just went all Michael Vick on Evans dog because the fucker got into my weed brownies
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