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Absolutely love JADE’s Angel of My Dreams but it was playing in the car when I was in labour and I had a super painful contraction so now it just gives me flashbacks 🫠😂
8 months ago today since I found out I’m pregnant, and I’m STILL FLIPPING PREGNANT 🤰🏻 🥵
Considering how ‘beautiful’ everyone says pregnancy and childbirth is, I am spending an awful lot of time playing ‘am I in labour or is this a big fart?’
I don’t even drink and obvs haven’t smoked since being preggo, but one of life’s greatest pleasures is a cig in a pub garden on a summers evening, please don’t take this from us @Keir_Starmer
Had a dream I won £33 mil on the lottery, waking up this morning sure was disappointing.
Sick to fucking death of the ‘oooh you must be due any day now!’ comments. Nope, still two months to go thank you, good to know I’m blossoming though!!!!
28 weeks preggo next week and right on cue for the third trimester I can suddenly not get comfortable in bed no matter what I do!!
Not me asking why they didn’t get rid of the scaffolding for the occasion for Tony to inform me it’s Notre Dame 🫠 #OpeningCeremony
Having to fast for 12 hours before my gestational diabetes test (thanks pregnancy!) and so far the hardest part is remembering I can’t eat and stopping myself nibbling on snacky snacks 🫣
My flipping parents were there tonight and I’ve spent my evening sat on the sofa in my pants. What happened to me!
Well @thekillers just did the coolest thing ever on stage as England won the semi final... #ENGNED #ItsComingHome
One of the best things about potty training is when the toddler starts cheering you on and giving it ‘well done mummy’ ‘good job’ every time you go for a wee 😂🥺🩷
Tried to race my mum earlier and I gotta tell you a 60 year old woman vs a 23 weeks pregnant 31 year old is pretty close! 🫣
Does my nut in when people do not turn up when they say they will without any communication!! Do you think I have nothing better to do that sit in until you decide to make an appearance?
Earlier I told my daughter to be patient and she shouted back at me ‘I’m not patient I’m DOCTOR’ that’s right my girl go on!
The irony of my Apple Watch telling me I’ve hit my move goal when the only moving I’m doing is crisps around a salsa jar and into my fat mouth x
I was actually well ahead with this I’ve been dating ratty pricks since ‘09
Gen Z women are looking for a ‘sexy rat boyfriend’ in latest dating craze: ‘Hot rodent summer’ trib.al/6Vq4i3p
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