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Coconut water is made from the water inside the coconut. Coconut milk is made from the white flesh. Coconut LaCroix is made from coconut husks. 🥥 #RLJoke
Asian pears to me are the effervescence of a Prosecco, the skin of 180 grit sandpaper, and the mouth feel of a raw potato. #RLJoke
I read a lot of books on intelligent sea-life. It's generally how I like to octopi my time. #RLJoke
I just went to a new restaurant where you sit in complete darkness. There's no menu so you can order anything you want, but no see food. #RLJoke #pun
Live at darin's and so am I. youtube.com/live/KcZQstp2q… #guitar #coffee #jazz
I got a second job doing catering but then promptly got fired for stealing. Apparently I can dish it out but can't take it. #pun #RLJoke #notReally Thanks to @The_LumpyG for the joke consultation.
I started a business selling low quality golf pants. You might get a hole in one on the first wear! #RLJoke #pun
The only houses in Portland that are selling are ones with basements. It's truly a cellars market. #RLJoke #pun
I've got a problem I need taken care of. I know it's a long shot, but does anyone have a recommendation for a good sniper. #RLJoke #pun
A neighbor was telling me about his daughter that is now refusing to do anything but trot around on all fours. He said, "It's fine. I'll allow a little horsing around.", and I said, "yeah, she can do that, canter.". #RLJoke #pun #horse
Did you know when you keep pigeons that there's always a pecking order where one pigeon is always the top boss. It changes often though, it's one coup after the other. #RLJoke #pun #fact
I was feeing down so I took a trip to the Caribbean. Now my feelings have been upgraded to a tropical depression. #RLJoke #pun
You got a piano and are near Portland? Get that thing tuned! staytunedpdx.com/the-story #pdx #piano #tuning
If anyone wanted to know how woke Portland is, the splash pads have ungendered misters. #RLJoke #pdx
I'm excited to see 'Kerry Politzer: The Jimmy Giuffre Project 1957-1961' play tomorrow at the 1905 (5:30p showtime). #jazz #pdxtraffic @KPMusic10
Fishing for sharks is pretty horrible but the worst part must be making friends with a British person just to toss him in to attract the sharks. #RLJoke #chumTheWater
I thought I paid off my shoes but look here what it says, "New Balance". Those scammers! #RLJoke
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