@metarzan17 Profile picture

Porkchop

@metarzan17

avid indoorsman, attorney-at-or-around-law

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Pinned

who says no?

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bird sounds

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Me after saying “no updates from me” on my only call of the day

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Breaking News: Kid Rock appointed to Department of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.


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farted while peeing… sometimes when it rains it thunders


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grating cheese is so fun until it starts getting scary


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They have creatures Noah didn't bring into his ark. It's a no

Would you guys move to Australia if offered a job there?



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Never even heard of some of these states before


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NOBODY VOTED FOR EITHER OF THEM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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new piercing idea: the full-body piercing. let me know what you think

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fart has endorsed butt

Joe Rogan has endorsed Donald Trump.

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My favorite part about farmers market is when cutting the middleman out makes the veggies more expensive


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bro at work eating like a stray cat 😭

coworker saw my lunch and reported me to hr

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chipotle is wet food and taco bell is kibble


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Yankees fans stayed to boo the Dodgers trophy presentation. Gotta respect that.


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My phone been on silent for the past decade.

Do y’all turn your ringer off on your phone before going to bed?



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This bodes well for next week’s Ana De Armas lookalike contest in my living room

The real Timothée Chalamet has made a surprise appearance at the Timothée Chalamet lookalike contest in NYC



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…and for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.


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just learned about recency bias and its my favorite thing ever


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Being a husband sucks cause wym “go see what that noise was”?? I’m scared too😭


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She missed prime Steph.

My aunt woke up from a 13 year coma !!!!!



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