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@AcaciaJustice
@ringsidejordan
@melissaltomato
@Levi_AkeshaStar
@RetroSpectYaya
Thank you @AirCanada for letting our kids board with their carryons and gettings us to our destination on time. #delayedflight @WestJet
Before I donate a bag of old clothes, I like to take it for a ride in the back of my car for a good five or six months.
PRACTICAL JOKE: squeeze out your toothpaste and replace with marshmallow fluff. then, when you’re going to bed and have forgotten all about it, you will be in for a big surprise!!!
In Cambodia and Thailand, elephants have developed the ability to take advantage of their right of way by stopping sugar cane trucks in order to snatch a quick snack [read more: buff.ly/3ISMxWn]
Hope this helps anyone who finds themselves being wrongly accused
At what age does Ryan Gosling have to change his name to Ryan Goose
Americans: I use miles and pounds Europeans: I use kilometres and kilograms Canadians: [snorting a line of assorted measuring systems] I'm 5'3, I weigh 150lbs, horses weigh 1000kgs, my house is an hour away and I drive 80 km/h to get there, I need a cup of flour and 1L of milk
[At the gym before someone teaches me the word spotting]: “hey bro will you take care of me and protect me?”
This flying squirrel faked his own death, and created a whole crime scene…for attention. I think I’m in love. twitter.com/kkMrRay/status…
5-year-old: Guess what? Today in school someone’s EYE broke open. Me: What??? 5-year-old: I’m done telling this story.
Me: I’m going to be so productive today! Apple Screen Time Report: LOL
me passing someone: u slow bitch me being passed: ok speed racer
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