@mattclot Profile picture

scatman malm

@mattclot

Pseudo-humor and word chaos

Joined April 2012
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@itsmebebeshey

NBA FAN SINCE 93 🏀⛹🏽‍♂️🦃🍁🍂 photo

@_M0M0NEY_

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My bank told me not to share this code with anyone... but fuck it y'all are the homies: 68042


Eat, Solve, Spend: Food token, Treasure token, Clue token.


All these fuckin nerds keep telling me my shoelace is untied. Bitch I know it's called looking cool.


Twitter bots: I will solve captchas for you if you make jokes for me


No microdosing at this party. We get all the way high or not at all.


Come to find, I was the hot single in my area this whole time


Stochastic terrorism is the Nintendo of organized religion


I thought adulthood would mean owning a lot more swords


You can lead a horse to water, but if you don't say something explicit like "hey, there's some water. I'd like you to drink it," then it's your fault if you come away unsatisfied.


Buzz Lightyear is a cuck


I'm rooting for the 9ers today because their QB is a rambunctious lil ♑Capricorn♑. Fellas, that means he is career-motivated and focused on status.


I understood the fuck out of that sentence


Lost in ur meat maze


It frightens me that I can see psychobilly sideburns naturally emerging from my facial hair growth patterns


Canned Lube™️


This is a primal wine made exclusively using technology available in the Stone Age


Good evening folks, would you like a light show with dinner this evening?


*RuPaul voice* If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna solve this maze?


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