Liz Kane
@lk0219I like to eat ice cream, and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks.
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“Are they in our grade?!” - Me, a 38 year old man.
My standards for what constitutes a celebration have apparently always been low
Basically done for the week and just found a lucky penny yippee I'd say its about time for some porch drinkin!
The time has finally come… I am now officially older than 95% of the contestants on #TheBachelor
“There’s always the Browns” <he whispers quietly to himself then breaks down and cries for 45 minutes>
2022 update: this song is here to stay
It's almost 2016 and I still can't seem to escape LMFAO and the "Party Rock Anthem".
This checks out
all hot girls have stomach issues and sleep w stuffed animals
I’d love to know why any Real Housewife would still willingly get into a sprinter van after Salt Lake City last year 🤔 #rhobh #rhoslc
Absolutely heartbreaking 😔 The world lost such a wonderful person this week. I feel lucky to have known her 🤍
We are deeply saddened by the recent passing of Jennifer Ilgauskas who was loved and respected by many. Our hearts are with Zydrunas and their two sons, Deividas and Povila who are forever a part of our Cavaliers family.
He's a 10, but he thought you wouldn't need a dumpster for the home cleanout 🤔
I will always retweet this when it pops up on Timehop 😂
accountant: "youre basically broke" wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff" me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"
I’d be so annoyed if I were friends with Austen and had to drink Trop Hop all the time. Is he ever going to create a new beer? #southerncharm
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife's plans for the second time.
I didn’t even know those kid cuisines still existed 😭😭
it finally happened. my photos app generated the saddest video possible.
You know the housing market is wack when I see a listing for $390k and think, “oh, that’s not bad, let me look!” … and then also, without fail the house always has bright blue or pink carpeting throughout, bathrooms from the 70s and/or a scary dungeon room 🤦🏻♀️
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