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taking too long in the bar bathroom not bc I'm doing drugs but bc I'm reading all the writing on the walls and reflecting on how it represents the beauty and complexity of humanity
this is from a katy perry music video and the male actor is named matt dallas. he is married to a man
dance moms is so insane cause why were the mom’s letting Abby talk to their kids like tht😭😭
Pedro Pascal and Bowen Yang were reallllllly breaking character during that last SNL sketch lol. too good
my job fired me yesterday (saw it coming, just a seasonal position, already have a new job) and they asked me if i could still show up for my shift today bc no one else could take it. i said yes. it is now 10 mins past when i was supposed to clock in and i am laying in bed. 💕
I NEED to know who made this!!
Thinking of a new email signature other than "best". You'll never take me alive, Nate
me: eat your vegetables baby: no me: eat AN AIRPLANE baby: fucken delicious
me & my friends were 12 & 13 going places with no car, no job, nothing but $20 😭
jealous of all my friends who are doing something great but more jealous of my friends who are doing nothing and are content
are the “traditional family values” in the room with us right now?
last year i was depressed. this year i have been even more depressed. thats called growth
I'm engaging in a lot of encounters lately where people see me masked and ask "oh should I grab a mask?" And I know it comes from a good place, but it can be really exhausting. Why? Let's talk about access labor. 1/10
Adam Levine John mulaney and now Ned fulmer from try guys Making the unholy trinity of saltines who make their brand about loving their wife and still cheat.
hard to imagine a more embarrassing death than being beaten with a candlestick in a library by someone named colonel mustard
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