Going to my mother in laws house so my son can spend time with his nana
True 90's kids have used the phrase "Get off the phone, I have to use the Internet."
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: "Jim's whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe."
When you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think "They're killing my family, and I'll have to fight the attacker naked..."
That retarded moment when you have to stare at a text for five minutes to figure out how to reply.
Person: Your music taste is shit. Me: Shhh, do you hear that? Person: Hear what? Me: It's the winds of me not giving a fuck.
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change but the direction I'm walking in.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I'm blaming you.
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