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can’t go on social media without a spike in my blood pressure
Oh c’mon. We only rate dogs. This is a Silly Seaside T-Rex. Please evacuate the beach immediately. Thank you… 13/10
If you've not seen this movie we can't be friends
you will never beat the sun. don’t even try. the sun will always win.
need a weighted blanket so heavy that it crushes my bones and I disintegrate into mere dust, settling back into the earth from whence i came
STATEN ISLAND MOMS AND DADS!!!!!!! I see this guy at bloomingdale park all the time and he takes pictures of the moms and kids ! I have called him out on this before and he left. 311 and the NYPD have been notified by me
Driving to Florida was all fun and games until I actually drove to Florida
we use “snort” for when things go into AND come out of your nose.
moms thoughts on mother’s day: *let me just start cleaning everything in the house and hope that one of my kids step in to finish the job*
Trump said that "HUNDREDS of Governors are calling him.". We only have 50. Think about that. Take all the time you need.
i’m ignoring my uni emails like they’re dm requests
this is how i look like while pumping gas so i look intimidating to the male species
watched this 14 times in a row and my jaw is still on the floor
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