satan’s spawn @lexinfern0 Twitter Profile

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

we’re all going to die. have a good day.

19KPosts 1KFollowers 320Following

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satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

7 Nov

When I explained to my 11 year old son that one of the many reasons people are upset that @realDonaldTrump is president is because he has multiple SA accusations my son said to me, “how hard is it not to assault someone?”

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

2 Nov

Can we get Over the Garden Wall the video game ….

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

31 Oct

Also, being old is being super excited about the new dog pooper scooper you bought. It’s the little things

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

31 Oct

Fall is so beautiful I’m out here at sunrise admiring the autumn colors and falling leaves as I scrape up dog shit and I don’t even mind it because it’s 60 degrees and the birds are singing

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

30 Oct

I just spent 30 minutes using a screwdriver to clean that little trap door outside where the lint and dog hair from my laundry comes out after 7 years of living here without having it ever professionally cleaned and man that was so satisfying and fun and I’m exhausted.

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

27 Oct

Getting old is like “what type of appliance do I want for Christmas?” Is it…A new Dyson vacuum? Is it…an air purifier? Is it…a pressurized steamer for cleaning? Is it…an air fryer? Is it…a kitchen aid mixer? Is it…an electric mop? Is it…pots and pans?

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

22 Oct

The funniest part is thinking that people with ADHD have the attention span to read all of this. Let me take my meds first, then I’ll return.

Ben Smith

@bensmithlive

21 Oct

ADHD is not a disorder. It’s a difference in cognition. You need to harness it, not sedate with pills. Once you do, it will make you hyper-focus. Here’s what you can do to turn ADHD into a superpower: 🧵

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

22 Oct

Didn’t believe my Chappell Roan Midwest Princess themed attire would ever have any future use, but now that Logan wants to go see Bilmuri …. This is the perfect place to be a Midwest princess again. Maybe this time I’ll pull out my NASCAR Dale shirt.

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

21 Oct

Hamilton is actually a masterpiece. I would love LMM to make 1000 more historically inspired musicals. Marie Antoinette should be next.

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

19 Oct

Nothing makes you feel old like buying your kid a cellphone for their birthday. I officially feel like an whole grown ass mom.

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

15 Oct

Please for the love of god never use @USPS for anything from now on. Your shit will get lost and then they won’t help you recover it. They are the most frustrating useless bureaucratic bologna I’ve ever dealt with. @UPS for the rest of my life

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

14 Oct

Gone are the days of big back yards. Townhomes and quickly constructed mass produced high priced cookie cutter homes are just taking over every empty spot of land

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

8 Oct

There is no reason in America that our military should pay its members so low that they rely on food stamps to feed their families. Especially when the upper half earns more than enough to get by comfortably.

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

8 Oct

I remember one time in elementary school I wanted to streamline getting ready in the morning so I decided to sleep in my clothes including my high top converse.. and I never did that again. But was that the most Capricorn thing I’ve ever done ? Maybe

satan’s spawn

@lexinfern0

5 Oct

I would like @Anthropologie to bring a small home goods store to my area and then I would like to work there. Let’s get on that. I got the perfect place to stick it.