Jarth Mader
@kjbdawgAustin. Фермер-козел. duerme con los fiahes.
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If you think the headlines we publish at @TheBabylonBee aren't funny, just wait til you see what was rejected! Here's some unused pitches from my writers over the past 5 or 6 days:
We grew up so poor we could only have one diabete.
Tune in to the @DICKS Facebook page on Tuesday at 8pm EST, for an exclusive virtual appearance with me. We’ll be talking about our championship season, check it out! #GoDawgs #NationalChampionship #ad
She's a hero.
5th grade teacher Laura Leanne just resigned on the spot. She alleges that the school board forced her to sign a contract promising to snitch on other faculty who are caught voicing disagreements with their progressive policies.
i still do not forgive you for what you did to my homeboy steve
Folks either fix your ball marks or don’t play fucking golf.
Why does no one talk about the fact that James Bond showed up wearing the same clothes as the valets at the beach club? It’s like wearing a blue shirt to a Best Buy, you just something you don’t do.
don’t let anyone shame you for your vote. your opinion is valid. anyone who thinks you should’ve silenced your voice so theirs could be louder simply sees you as a number. as a believer in personal responsibility, the only people responsible for their failures is themselves.
Everyone has two choices on here: Be a bad person who’s mean and hates on everything as they hide Or Be fun. Be nice. Lift others up. Up to you
🏆👏 Congratulations to Larry White of Atlanta on winning the 2020 #GSGASuperSenior Championship at Doublegate Country Club with a two-day total of 2-under-par 142 (74-68)! Final results ⬇️ golfgenius.com/pages/2317449
I’d never fight anybody at Waffle House much less someone who works there
Thrashers confirm zero positive COVID tests during Phase 3 and 4.
This is a man who “knows a guy” if you’re looking to buy dolphin meat.
I have a disability and all i want for my Birthday is to get tons of birthday wishes from people around the world! that is all i want for my Birthday no Gifts! please Retweet/Like ! to help make my birthday wish come true its on Monday!
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