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@kelnicolemarie

if I die turn my tweets into a book

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when you die at the dage but go back out that night anyways

Cancel the funeral, because I decided to live. Dying is not an option.



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our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast


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The people who make $700 an hour have convinced the people who make $25 an hour that the problem is the people who make $7.50 an hour.


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But a grown man sleeping with a teenager isn’t a deal breaker to be the top cop in the nation? Good lord.

Nancy Mace on trans women using women's bathrooms: "The idea of a man walking into a locker room where I'm changing feels like assault."



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taking advantage of this calm before the storm to say what these two women have managed to and continued to achieve over the last decades will be studied in history books. the two anomalies of modern music

Artists speculated to be top 2 on Billboard's 'Greatest Pop Stars of the 21st Century' list: Beyoncé Taylor Swift Who do you think will be #1?

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So, if I’m to understand, the lady who’s been screaming about groomers has information on republicans about sexual impropriety but she’s just gonna hold on to it unless people stop picking on her friend for fucking an underage girl.

MTG Threatens To Expose “Secret Sexual Payoffs” By Republicans If They Release Matt Gaetz’s Ethics Report joemygod.com/2024/11/mtg-th…

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American Evangelicals:

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this minimalism era is DOGSHIT

Jaguar has updated their logo

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Everytime I see a cabinet nomination I hope it’s PooCrave

Donald Trump names wrestling billionaire Linda McMahon, co-founder of WWE, as Secretary of Education.

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Today is International Men’s Day.

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perfect

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"If the Emperor says he is wearing clothes, then he is wearing clothes! Period."

Rep. Troy Nehls (R., Texas): "If Donald Trump says tariffs work, tariffs work. Period. Because Donald Trump is really never wrong."



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Colin Kaepernick said “hey maybe police shouldn’t kill black people as much” in a way that veterans told him would be respectful activism and the NFL completely vaporized his career and people complained for YEARS about “keeping sports apolitical”. Totally unrelated note

Brock Bowers did the Donald Trump dance after scoring a TD.



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Let’s get a husky even tho we live in Los Angeles


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So after ducking and dodging for weeks, Walters is now admitting that he used taxpayer funds intended for students to purchase $60 Trump Bibles made in China.

PAMELA BROWN: The Trump bibles are $60 a pop. There are many bibles available that cost half that. Why are you using a Trump-endorsed bible? RYAN WALTERS: The bible, declaration of independence, and constitution are all included in this bible that we purchased



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Y’all literally lost your goddamn minds when Michelle Obama said to eat a vegetable and exercise a bit

The new focus on Americans' unhealthy diets (and the roles of Big Ag and Big Food) is absolutely overdue and welcome. Legendary journalist Peter Jennings did this report in 2003: youtube.com/watch?v=ZH-9ac…



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Melodramatic, yes, but:

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That girl crashing out over her sibling getting an iPhone 15 is valid.



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surely this will lower the cost of groceries

Scoop: Nancy Mace is introducing a resolution to ban transgender women from using women’s restrooms in the U.S. Capitol foxnews.com/politics/trans…



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20 years ago today, ‘THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE’ released in theaters.

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🤔🤣

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fuck trumpers


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