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Haven’t been on my personal account for a while, because it was getting lame. Seems like it’s even more lame now. How long until this all collapses?
I haven’t posted on here in a while so.... Fuck that piece of shit human being @realDonaldTrump November can’t come fast enough.
Want to feel better about your life? Go stand in a Wilkes-Barre @TurkeyHillMM First off try not to get mugged, but stand there and look around and listen. You’ll have a spring in your step and not feel so bad about things as you exit the door. #wilkesbarre #turkeythrill
You know that sound the @Keurig makes when it’s finishing filling the cup? That’s what my soul sounds like each morning when it realizes it’s still here and has to face the day. #keurig #life
Hey @CNN Great job with the Ronstadt doc. Excellent. I learned so much. #LindaRonstadtMovie
Hey @Arbys The guy at the counter in Pittston, Pa. The most authentically friendly service I’ve gotten in a long time anywhere. Took orders & followed up at our tables after. Spoke w/ everyone. Asked about our holidays. Joked w/ kids. I got a knuckle bump. Give him a raise.
That trailer was better than Paul Fieg’s entire movie. This looks like it maintains the heart, wonder, and scares of the original. I’m very excited for this. #ghostbusters #afterlife #80sKid
Phoebe Waller-Bridge is the best thing to happen to TV and comedy (and heartache) in the longest time. I fell absolutely in love with @fleabag and just watched Crashing. I want more and soon. She’s brilliant. #PhoebeWallerBridge
You can tell how much someone hates life by how they shop for food. I just saw a guy with a cart full of Tony’s frozen pizza and Stouffer’s frozen meals. I think he wants it all to end sooner than later.
If you really hate yourself... @BurgerKing makes tacos. @tacobell needs to retaliate. #taco #fastfoodbattle
Pretty sure @Pornhub is helping @CNN with show titles. Tricky Dick and The Bush Years? Hard Harding, Big Johnson, and Taft’s Shaft must be in the works.
Why couldn’t this be @PopeyesChicken and @kfc ?!?! #whopper inc.com/bill-murphy-jr…
That face @donlemon makes before dropping a knowledge bomb while holding back sarcasm and laughter. I love how Don reacts to the stupid shit @realDonaldTrump says.
Hey @NBCNews What the world needs now is a Cheers reboot. We need Mayday Malone and crew to bring some quality laughter into our homes again. Please @TedDanson MTVGA. #maketvgreatagain #cheers #surewouldhelpalot
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