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Sitting next to the worst person in the world : the guy who just got back from Spain.
Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump
College seniors, take it from me: you don't need a commencement ceremony to sit outside in the blazing heat, pretending you're not hungover.
Not to brag but what a time to be childless
Support the @EatalyFlatiron family! Eataly Employee Relief Fund gofundme.com/f/eatalynortha…
Weekend wrap-up! @SCSUHUSKIES_SOC rolls to 2-0 win over UMC on Sept. 22 to complete 5-game homestand, which included 3 shutouts and only 4 goals allowed by SCSU! #unleashSCSU #Team25 #NSICSoc #makeityours #StCloudState #SCSUHuskies
A @HarpsDeMay sighting! 👏. Nevertheless she persisted
Story on @SCSUHUSKIES_SOC 2-0 win over UMC on Sept. 22. scsuhuskies.com/news/2019/9/22… #unleashSCSU
Story on @SCSUHUSKIES_SOC 2-0 win over UMC on Sept. 22. scsuhuskies.com/news/2019/9/22… #unleashSCSU
Saudi Arabian Prince: I had nothing to do with Jamal Kashoggi’s death. Trump: Sounds credible to me. North Korean dictator: I had nothing to do Otto Warmbier’s death. Trump: I believe you. Literally any woman: I was sexually assaulted. Trump: Lol sure you were, ugly.
Last day of food freedom before my beach body diet. It’s been fun. I’ll miss you, junk food and beer.
I know reboots are hot right now but what if we brought back manners
Found something new to say when I leave a room.
Reading a book at the bar does NOT mean I’m lonely. It does NOT mean I want your opinion. It does NOT mean I want to have a conversation about said book. It DOES mean that you should leave me the fuck alone so I can read.
If this girl tries to spoil the ending to my book one more time, I’m spilling my drink on her.
New York City has one of the largest immigrant populations on the planet and the last time our crime rate was as low as it is right now the Dodgers were still in Brooklyn.
Is there a spa for people having a mental breakdown? If so, sign me up for every treatment
WHY DOES EVERY ONLINE RECIPE BEGIN WITH A 40 PAGE ESSAY ABOUT SOMEONES HUSBAND DOG AND KIDS AND A BRISK WALK THEY TOOK IN THE FALL AND HOW THEY LOVE THE CHANGING OF THE LEAVES AND THEIR DOGS FAVORITE TREAT. GIMME THE RECIPE HON MY SCROLL FINGER HURTS
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