@johnnyh0llywood Profile picture

Johnny Hollywood

@johnnyh0llywood

Famous millionaire

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Pinned

“Look at my cool hat”

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If only there was a way to weaponize violence


Hey dude, I’ve been doing really well actually, I started dating this girl, she’s so beautiful, most beautiful girl in the world! She actually kinda looks like you. She actually looks just like you. Anyway great catching up!


The only thing that can stop a bad guy with schizophrenia is a good guy with schizophrenia


People who rap along to the music their listening to on the subway act like they have to rap along with the words or else their heads will explode


Walking way too close behind women on the sidewalk at night not because I’m a creep but because I hope to gain an additional speed boost from their slipstream


Wanted to tease a little side project I’ve been working on. Experimental novel with original illustrations. Hopefully out soonish

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Excuse me miss, couldn’t help but notice that lovely necklace you’re wearing, mind if I take a closer look?

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Man I’m so sick of mean old adults always telling us what to do. Alt-Lit is truly the first art scene where us 39 year old kids are allowed to make the rules!!


According to the platonic ideal, for every ass fucking you commit on earth, you will receive those ass fuckings 10 fold in the afterlife


I’m in the mood for a rustic, more old timey type of sandwich


This simple tweet cost me 14 followers and a temporary account lock for not seeming human enough

I’m in the mood for a newer, more modern type of sandwich



I’m in the mood for a newer, more modern type of sandwich


When I started playing RuneScape back in 04 I didn’t understand that you could respawn after you died so I just kept making new accounts after every death. I think my first username was Darthplaystation2


In 2011 me and some random guy reached wave 76 on shi no numa iPod cod zombies. We could have kept going but my parents wanted me to get in the car, and there was no wifi in the car. It still feels like a massive achievement and tragedy to me from a bygone era


Happy birthday, Lizzie

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Johnny Hollywood Reposted

Happy birthday Lizzie @eris_rlt Death isn’t real. Speedheart is coming, Spring 2025. We’re working hard on it.

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Working on my own version of pee wees playhouse but instead of Jambi being a talking head he’d be a hot chick who gives me head


If me, a rich person, waves a cup of money in front of passersbys I’m an asshole but if a dirty old homeless person does it it’s charming.


Old head blasting Christopher Cross on the train today, he was dancing when the train took off, stumbled, flew out the window, got stuck in wheels and the whole fucking train blew up manhattans in ruins


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