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Mcdonalds ceo said not gonna be me!
When it’s December & u realize u have to buy gifts for your s/o, parents, cousins, besties, secret Santa, coworkers white elephant AND to donate
The real villain of Breaking Bad is the New Mexico state legislature for failing to provide high quality health insurance to its public sector employees
Then Jesus said unto the sick, “you better have insurance.” Then Jesus said unto the stranger, “are you here legally?” Then Jesus said unto the hungry, “my taxes better not be paying for these loaves and fishes.” Then Jesus said unto the poor, “this is your own fault.”
“The Midwest doesn’t have any culture” The Midwest:
And it hit tumblr like crack in the 80s
the first episode of 'American Horror Story' aired 13 years ago.
just learned the only way out is through
Diddy gonn be in jail slammin da soap on da shower floor
Idiot son, legacy a mess, tuition fees piling up, but he was using his purple shampoo
Today I told my Chinese coworkers that in America in the grocery store you can choose eggs based on how comfortable the chicken’s life is, and their jaws dropped
kamala:
Owing me money and having plasma in ya body is crazy
everybody mexican until you ask them how to say embarrassed in spanish
Beer was warm, walked to truck to buy ice, heavens opened up and started hailing hard, put truck undercover to prevent hail damage + couldn’t go to store. Realized the universe delivered ice straight to me. July 4th week miracle. This is my version of the Chinese Farmer Proverb.
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