Jack Bellew
@jackbellew975I’m gonna regret these when I get drafted
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Inspired by the 101st Airborne Division, we will honor the relentless fighting force of the #ScreamingEagles on Dec. 14 #GoArmy x #BeatNavy
Thank you again for all the outpouring of love for our Ben. I can’t tell you how much it means to me and my family. He wasn’t just my best friend – he was America’s best friend ❤️
Penn states absolute lack of heart at the end of every Ohio state game makes me want to throw up
I’d take Local 3 Literature
Lebron has to take Embid out back and do him like George did Lenny
International airport security clearly doesn’t know what the hell they are doing. Multiple airports and not one employee has spit in my face and called me a little bitch. How am I supposed to feel safe.
I wish they had an ice cream flavor that tasted like 12 miller lites
We really gotta bring back celebrities getting special treatment, they’re better than us. #Fuckhumilitybearockstar
It’s gonna be tough to tell my future kid that the best day of my life was not in fact when they were born, but that one fateful day when @jsweenzzz and @jjohnfitzgerald decided to start season 1 of Jersey Shore in our college apartment #GodBlessJenks🇺🇸
Anyone else check the weather, look out the window, and think to themselves “Man it’s a beautiful day outside, I’m gonna go for a walk” and then immediately feel like such a pussy for having that thought
Everyone who convinced me yesterday that Gillis bombed on SNL can piss off. Dude went into enemy territory with solid material
A (relatively) useless superpower I would love to have is always having exactly the right amount of cash for any deli/coffee purchase #nochange
I think being a terrible writer myself actually enhances reading fiction. I can truly never tell you where the story is going and am always genuinely surprised at every turn #Englishhonorsdropout #Notdumbjustdim
If you’re 8+ beers deep with the boys and it doesn’t get weirdly emotional talking about why you guys love each other, are you truly boys?
I want to get back into watching basketball, but I can’t stand the fact that I weigh more than half the NBA centers #girlbrain
Why did Beamer change his polo at halftime?
The best shot the gamecocks have for the rest of the season is spencer rattler has to catch his own passes and block for himself apparently because it’s apparent his teammates are willing to give him absolutely 0 help.
If you don’t have a bad morning, you didn’t have a good night
Theoretical physicists are the greatest con artists of all time. They get paid exorbitant amounts of money to come up with theses that impact our society in no way and in the process have convinced society that they are some of the smartest people alive.
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