@itsuncledan Profile picture

Uncle Dan

@itsuncledan

Accidentally psychic, hilarious, occasionally morbid, and the four right chords can make me cry.

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Uncle Dan Reposted

I can’t believe I’m living in a country that is enforcing their own government gestapo. I’m scared.


As a kid, so many of us want to be like Harry, Hermione, or Ron. As an adult, I want to be like @jk_rowling (Although now I look more like Hagrid 😂)


Uncle Dan Reposted

Fuck racism, fuck animal abusers, fuck corona, and fuck coleslaw.


Uncle Dan Reposted

7:05 PM, APD located a stolen vehicle on Gunnison Drive. During a canvas 2 suspects were IDd & a brief foot pursuit ensued. During the foot pursuit shots were fired at the ofc’s. Ofc’s did not return fire; however, both suspects were taken into custody & a firearm was recovered.


Uncle Dan Reposted

Maybe 2020 is meant to make us see the world clearer.


Uncle Dan Reposted

My statement on the death of George Floyd:

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Uncle Dan Reposted

We have to make all this right. In our lifetime. This must stop forever.


I ordered an item from @amazon, and whoever shipped it lost the hardware. customer service, explained that a refund or return would be costly and kind of silly. They asked how much I’m likely to spend to replace the hardware, and simply credited me that amount. #thisiswhyIPrime


#TigerKing is like 2020: -starts out kinda fun -couple of weird people emerge, okay, let’s see where this goes -okay, I’m uncomfortable now -WTF is anyone sane here? -looks like a lot of people are gonna die


Uncle Dan Reposted

To clarify: Isolation = you have tested positive for the virus Quarantine = you have been in contact with someone who has tested positive for the virus & are waiting to see if you develop symptoms Social distancing = something everyone can do to reduce the risk of transmission


This didn’t age well...

Yes, yes, and more yes.

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Uncle Dan Reposted

I might not be a "virus expert" or a "medical researcher" or a representative from the "world health organization" or a "contagious diseases expert" or a "physician" or a "doctor" or a "reasonably intelligent person" or


Say what you want, but #coronavirus is actually quite pretty up close.

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Figured out the Jake from @StateFarm ad: Husband: “she’s awful. I gotta get rid of her” Jake: “are you married to her?” H: “yeah, I’m married. Does that matter?” J: “I’ll set up a sweet life insurance policy. We’ll do it together” H: “you’d do that for me?” #likeagoodneighbor


In the upcoming election, a factor is the four years that have passed since 2016. There are voters that were too young to vote, but now have reached 18. There were voters in 2016 that are no longer alive, and since Hillary isn’t running, they won’t be voting this time around.


I talk a lot of shit for someone blasting Taylor Swift at full volume.


I rated Johnno and Michael Try (2019– ) 10/10 #IMDb imdb.com/title/tt103641…


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