Sir Franklin Pauli
@ihuntmidgetsMartha Stewart once said, It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none
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@benthompson
@FonzBentley
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@pedrogenaro
@WittyClitty
@fuelbiblechurch
@DRTheSecond
@weex
@bkbeats
Well, not working with Microsoft anymore. So, It’s freed up more time to tweet or X’eet again. Or whatever they call it nowadays.
Tom fucking Hanks, man. Fucking Captain Sully, man. Fuck you, corona. — A Haiku about COVIT-19
If you wondered where I’ve been.
Dear social media, You may never see me again because @pornhub has removed their 5 video per day limit. Love, hand-solo.
Facebook reminded me that two years ago today, I realized “baby shower” is not keyword for bukkake.
Ever been in a strip club staring at someone's facial features wondering if you're their deadbeat dad? Yea, me neither.
When you don't tweet often a new tweet is just a reminder of whom you need to unfollow next.
I've spent most of my time off twitter writing messages on napkins and leaving them around strip clubs.
I couldn't find a wifi signal.
I remember hiding my first VHS porn "big bubble butts in Brazil" inside the case for Fuzzy Wuzzy Bears. That haunted me years later.
Skimming through my timeline. Mostly Trump, kale, nba finals and vaginal reconstruction. Guess I haven't missed much.
Always spray perfume/cologne directly on your crotch. When folks compliment the smell they'll be talking about your junk.
If I'm driving the speed limit its probably laundry day because I refuse to die in a car accident wearing pikachu boxers.
I can officially say that I've flossed less than I've tweeted this year. This is my third tweet.
OMG you guys my IG explorer page is full of porn !!! I bet it's @ihuntmidgets liking stuff 😡😤
My most valuable lesson of the year: Disable notification pop-ups on @facebook prior to watching @pornhub
While some folks are out tonight protesting I am helping my local community by donating funds to single mothers.
United States Trends
- 1. Mavs 9.710 posts
- 2. Pete 252 B posts
- 3. DeSantis 29,6 B posts
- 4. Marcus Smart 2.145 posts
- 5. Bama 39,1 B posts
- 6. Clemson 21,2 B posts
- 7. Brea 2.178 posts
- 8. Grizzlies 5.438 posts
- 9. #MFFL 3.262 posts
- 10. Knicks 14,3 B posts
- 11. Miami 114 B posts
- 12. Kerr 3.993 posts
- 13. Luka 28,1 B posts
- 14. Sabres 4.608 posts
- 15. Danny Wolf N/A
- 16. #WWENXT 26,8 B posts
- 17. Kentucky 16,4 B posts
- 18. NBA Cup 12 B posts
- 19. #RHOBH 4.095 posts
- 20. minghao 42,9 B posts
Who to follow
-
Ben Thompson
@benthompson -
Derek ‘ Fonzworth Bentley’ Watkins
@FonzBentley -
Buda 🌏
@budaquan -
FF
@ffaillace -
International Government Stratagies
@IStratagies -
Pedro Genaro
@pedrogenaro -
Scarlett Fever
@WittyClitty -
Fuel Bible Church
@fuelbiblechurch -
Dave, Archduke of Christiana, TN
@DRTheSecond -
David Sterry
@weex -
bk beets
@bkbeats
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