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In my opinion. Anyone with blonde hair is white
the twitter bird may be gone but we’ll always have our state bird 🖕
she’s smart. she passed the bar and the bechdel. I got real far in her rectal.
#FantasyFootball is just dungeons and dragons for people who lost their virginity in high school
If @Logic301 makes a song called 988 I swear to god I’ll do it
So you’re telling me I can’t Juul and I have to be a dad? I might use my newly expanded gun rights to manually terminate the life appointment of a Supreme Court justice
I strive to be the questionable man a bi girl chooses along side Zoë Kravitz as her celebrity crush
You will never need another lover, cause you a milf and I'm … in desperate need of maternal affection
“Oh blimey, quite a calamity innit” - the average British “person” next week
Parkinson’s patients playing Jenga have better pull out game than Christian Homeschool dads
Wish I didn’t need hot bean water to be a functional human in the morning
I’ve officially decided to start Twitter beef with the Amish, if they don’t respond, I’ll assume I’ve won
many whales will go their entire lives having never played Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater
I used to think I was worthless, but then I saw myself for sale on the dark web for $500, it’s so inspiring to find hope in the place you least expect #blessed
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