I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed tho. I'm just annoying
What if CEO shootings replace school shootings as the act of the deranged?
this is the best day on twitter since a submarine exploded
didnt have idolize a murderer on my bingo card for 2024 but life is full of surprises
someone my age is hot and a successful assassin and I am making powerpoint presentation
5yo just asked, “what happens when you die, do you dream?” hamlet ass question
this extra sucks for the woman in the pic because due to the apple on her head no doctor will come close enough to help her
(having sex with the eye doctor) is this better or worse? better? or worse?
*door in my house opens on its own* me: fascinating. there must be quite a temperature differential between these two rooms to create that kind of pressure the ghost haunting me: (slamming its head through the wall) i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
googling "effect vs affect" in an incognito window
whenever I see a lady mail carrier i’m like ok slay that’s a woman in a mail dominated field
I wanna party with king Julian so fucking bad
might fuck around and become everything i’m meant to be
watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would is one of life’s greatest challenges
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