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@geddesclan
@dennistoundoll
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Be more judgmental Lose twenty galaxies Exorcise more Think before I smite Spend more time with Junior Floss!
Wishing everyone a happy 2015. That's not a typo. I know what's coming next year and no waaaaay is it going to make you happy.
Just been Invited to a Turkey's New Year's Eve Party. Fucking Idiot.
Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word, but usually it's antidisestablishmentarianism.
"I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein.
There are Two Food Groups in this World. Biscuits and Not Biscuits.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." - Maya Angelou
The thing about Halloween is, we all have a different idea of what horror is. http://t.co/qIzHi9EmSN
The Reason you Never See Cows doing Trick or Treating is because they Do Not understand Doorbells.
American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?
WIKIPEDIA: I know everything! FACEBOOK: I know everybody! INTERNET: Without me, you guys are nothing! ELECTRICITY: Keep talking, bitches.
Found a Sledgehammer. Made of Sledge. Licking it. Yep. Being a bit sexy near it. Pretending I am Jon Miley Cyrus Pigeon. Doing the Face.
I am on a Sofa. The Sofa is in a Canal. Pretending I have my own Chat Show. Yep. The guests this week are a Lego Man, a Tyre and a Dead Rat.
What's the best thing about being 94? No peer pressure!
“@SonnyDouglas98: “@fatjacko: http://t.co/CfsAzRNbU7” America in a nutshell” the world.
Don't stop them now... RT @oliviakate10: @adamhillscomedy @TheLastLeg 39 now!!! Getting closer! http://t.co/iRpo5anOaA
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