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setting a claymore down below the driver side door of my still running 94 explorer before speed walking into the gas station for scratchers


I go to the doctor's office because I'm scared of getting freaking tetanus and guess what gets stuck into my arm... Can someone please end this dystopian nightmare? @elonmusk


Cancel culture has always been around, it just used to be called going to hell


Yeah I’m thinking me climby that there tree mister


Scooby doo more like scooby poo


Once you suck on a binky at EDC, it’s all over. You’ll never be able to go back and unsuck that thing


Damn man, you’ve got some big motherfuckin hands and a strong ass grip... you be stroking? You’re probably bustin out some fat nuts, don’t choke that shit too hard man be easy on it haha yeah


Good, evil... I’m not sure what all of this means


You could have all of this too, but you won’t take vitamin D


*NEW* Enotional Intelligence and Maturity 2020 GDQ Games Done Quick Speedrun World Record by fromdaEARTH


On shit cuzzo this sack hangin💯


Schizophrenia is just a number, but I’m not ready to have that conversation yet


So I guess Vaginacon was canceled? *deep sigh, followed by brief moment of solace* Okay🙄


Life is an RPG (Skyrim) and I have the official Prima strategy guide (Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life). You dare step in the arena and try to stop me with my endgame build? Do you have even a clue as to how many hours I’ve logged?


Trump is anti landlord


Getting ice cream on second date: You good? You sure? You don’t look so good.. I mean, not that you don’t look good, you’re beautiful, it’s just... I mean, I didn’t mean it like that, I mean I did but like, ugh, just forget about it.. *deep exhale* so does yours taste good?


Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Respond to Everything with Sheeeeeeesh


Just order “19 and Naughty” off the hotel tv and charged it to the game💯


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