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My only goal in life is to have my own pack of Dobermans https://t.co/Dc77UFK0kI
A collection of road signs I saw today in Maine: “You’re not a firework, don’t drive lit” “Red white and blue, we have free shots 4 u!” “The founding fathers didn’t drive drunk” ...
Me: *gets the COVID vaccine* Also me: *has an allergic reaction to the bandaid*
When I pass someone to see if they look as stupid as they drive
if I say "I could eat" we’ve got about 32 minutes tops before I am flat out a different person
“Stop taking pictures” “It’s a candid so shut up” Thanks J @ Turnip Rock instagram.com/p/CCB7UYVpEcO/…
All I wanna know is why we never had difficulty with these in preschool ... but now....
*shopping cart slams into the back of my car* Me to the guy walking over: “Is this yours?” The guy: “I don’t know” Me: ? The guy: *takes the cart back to his truck and puts his stuff in the car* Me:
We don’t claim them... Ohio? You want them? twitter.com/i/events/12559…
To anyone who thinks they’re being slick peeing in the woods on a golf course.... thanks for putting your junk on display at my family dinner
Find someone who hypes you up like instagram fashion accounts
Facebook forgot who Barry Sanders is and is freaking out at Garth Brooks for wearing a jersey and I’m dying.
How pissed is Jed right now
Don't forget! THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2020 from 4:00-8:00, @panerabread in Standale, MI will be hosting a fundraiser for us! But before they donate, they need to make $100, so please come hlep us out by mentioning our fundraiser when you order you meal!
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