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would’ve started saving money in kindergarten if i knew life was gon be like this
the entire day after Christmas feels like when the lights come on at the club
Left: New York City in climate disaster movie The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Right: New York City in climate disaster reality, tonight (2021)
whenever anyone tries to explain the rules of a card game i literally black out
I’m not a licensed therapist but if you Venmo me $25 I’ll try my best for an hour on FaceTime
Girls will stop and get iced coffee but won’t stop for gas. 🤦🏻♂️
A friend at uni told me he liked to walk around the city at night and listen to music with his headphones on. He asked why I didn’t do that too.
billy joel: she’s an uptown girl me: where has she been living billy joel: ur not gonna believe this
new CDC guidance suggests you don’t go wasting your devotion and to instead lay all your love on me
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