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brushing your teeth before the dentist is equivalent to cleaning your room before the cleaning ladies come
i think maturing is realizing that sticking your tongue out is SUCH an ick
why the actual fuck aren’t bagel shops open all day? Maybe I want a bagel at 4:52 PM. What then?
I may not know how to spell or do basic math but at least I can parallel park
one time my best friend told me “you’re not actually funny, people just like you.” to this day i don’t know how to feel🙂
if you tie peoples shoelaces together to flirt you are a literal adolescent. like where’s the creativity?
i have nothing funny to say but i’d like to announce my arrival.
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