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@lexrosecreates
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Got to write this fun Halloween short for @bestfiends Big thanks to @seriouslyhq, @sydbright and @BentoBoxEnt for putting it together. Might be the only PG thing I’ve ever written. Happy Halloween! youtu.be/hVBtiU4Dyy0
One of my favs
My short ‘Eli’: vimeo.com/332708894 Nominated for Short Film Grand Jury Prize at the 2020 @sundancefest ☄️ co-produced by @bohnart1 #2danimation
The report is in! Watch the first half here:
Every kiss on Love Island is a mess. Every. Single. One. It’s like watching two dogs trying to lick peanut butter out of the same chew toy. They’re enjoying it — but it’s mayhem. #LoveIslandUK
Someone finally mentioned they liked they# @pants art in our bathroom and it made me very excited.
Instead of @DollarShaveClub, can we make it Dollar MRI Club? I find myself needing more MRI’s than clean razors these days.
Our home security system has been on the fritz so long that I think my kid’s first words are going to be ‘motion detector, living room’
Built this stack of blankets and toys to stop my kid from trying to stick his finger in the electrical socket and ended up building a shrine to Midsommar @A24
Got t-boned by Julia Roberts today. She was dropping off some clothes at Goodwill and ran a stop sign. It was an honest mistake but my Kia Soul is totaled. I left it burning on the highway and walked home to clear my head. This is NOT the Wednesday I had in mind. #humpday
A 3-year-old girl said ‘hi baby’ to our son while we were walking to the park today. Mother-in-law: God. She’s SO attracted to him. My wife: He’s 7-months-old, mom. Mother-in-law: She can’t help it, honey. He’s a Scorpio and Scorpios are sexual magnets.
A dumb thing I wrote years ago about an alien kid playing with founding father action figures in the future. It was pretty much an endorsement for @TheRock to be president. Happy Dwayne Johnson day!
Bravo 👏🏾 😂 Very entertaining. How I would’ve loved to have been “in the room” with our founding fathers. #ushistory #7bucks
Been on hold with my bank for the last hour and they’re playing nothing but 90s acappella. At this point, I honestly hope they don’t answer. I’m having a really great time.
Had lunch with my pal Brad Pitt today and he confirmed he’d never do a Legends of the Fall sequel. Bummer for hardcore LOTF fans but at least we know now. He also didn’t touch his fruit salad but that’s a story for another time. #celebritydish
Went to the doctor today to get a physical and when I took off my shirt he said ‘wow, you have deceptively large love handles.’ So I’m suing him for malpractice.
Me: What do you want to watch tonight? Wife: Giblets. Me: What’s that? Wife: It’s like Extras but with chicken parts.
A lot of people thought I was crazy when I decided to quit my job and devote myself entirely to never wearing jeans again. But after 2.5 long years, I’m finally 100% jeans-free. Take that haters. #neverdenim
I fed my 7 month-old son mushed carrots today and my wife dry heaved the whole time (she hates carrots). So every time he took a bite, he’d watch his mom nearly vomit all over the kitchen. Not exactly sure how this will mess him up down the road, but we’re excited to find out.
Just finished watching season 5 of Billions and googled ‘what are stocks?’ I’m 37.
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Who to follow
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her_heels
@lexrosecreates -
Tough Bird
@TurboGrfx16_Kid -
⬜️IGOR⬜️ yakunin.eth | yakunin.tez
@ibackstrom -
Jon Avner
@jonavner -
Christina Arango Dowling
@fatherdowling -
Marianne Ferrari
@FerrariMarianne -
jw13 🌍🌈
@Jubbeldu13 -
Marco
@marcoadamodigiu -
SAM COUCH
@SamuelCouch -
Georgina Littlejohn
@missgeorgieanne -
Turbohand
@turbohand -
Spacewrangler Joelives
@Acrylicks -
BRH
@bhurwitz -
RobotJeremie
@JeremieDuval -
clangstrum
@eEqualsMCEscher
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