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damKnade's profile picture. My writing* can be found in FHM Magazine and Maximum PC. *semen

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@damKnade

My writing* can be found in FHM Magazine and Maximum PC. *semen

Joined May 2010
179Posts 3KFollowers 4KFollowing
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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Apr 26, 2012

Since I'm hypoglycemic, Lifesavers actually are.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Apr 20, 2012

Got this chocolate labrador a cone to prevent him from licking himself. Anxiously waiting for him to get the joke...

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Apr 11, 2012

Thanks for the love. RT @TeamCoco: The Terrible 20: Reasons You're Late For Work is done! bit.ly/IcOy9U #LateForWork

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Apr 10, 2012

No sentence fragments. #English101

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Apr 3, 2012

"Of all the huts in all the towns in all of Brazil, Chun-Li walks into mine" -Casa Blanka

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Mar 26, 2012

Friends got arrested for beating a guy who looked at them funny. Being charged with "impersonating police officers"

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Mar 14, 2012

Between Pi Day and International Women's Day, I'm getting tired of celebrating irrationality.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Mar 13, 2012

Dyslexic black cats always land on their teef.

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trevso_electric's profile picture.
Trevor S
 @trevso_electric
Mar 10, 2012

What we're doing isn't much different than a subway full of homeless people mumbling about cats and religion to everyone and no one.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Mar 9, 2012

Wait, so this Kony guy is kidnapping Soulja Boy? And we're trying to stop him? #GoKony #Kony2012

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Mar 6, 2012

Heard someone talking about an episode of Dexter and it sounds like he took a pretty dark turn after Dee-Dee blew up his lab.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Feb 29, 2012

Today Davy Jones was replaced by some Snooki offspring in case any of you were supposed to be keeping tabs on humankind.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Feb 29, 2012

My grandpa died driving drunk and left my grandma a vegetable. I'm pretty sure he was drunk when he wrote his will too...

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Feb 28, 2012

He was witness protection'd into Adam Levine. RT @adam_fogle: I will not rest until I find out what happened to Jamiroquai.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Feb 12, 2012

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...don't think anyone is surprised.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Feb 3, 2012

I tried to change my Twitter password to "Glee" but was told it needed more complex characters.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Feb 2, 2012

The only time I've used my house phone is to find my cell.

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damKnade's profile picture.
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 @damKnade
Jan 17, 2012

"I hate to say 'I told you so.'" - Liar

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 @damKnade
Jan 15, 2012

My ex made me want to be a better man, so I could get a better woman.

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