Colleen
@collsballs13Not nearly as funny as I think I am
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@naaabsz
@angiecanmagic
@kelseyyy_t
@Vxx76
My parents are redoing my old room this weekend, I'm looking forward to getting in trouble for water bottles of cheap vodka from 2011
No one is matching my excitement for the iPhone’s send later feature and I have never felt so alone in the world
Ubering to a friend’s house at 8 AM on st Patrick’s say with just l a plastic bag of beer, sunscreen, and deodorant. I hope all my ancestors Irish eyes’ are smiling.
You should be eligible for social security payments or AT LEAST AARP discounts once they start remaking movies you distinctly remember the original being released 👀👀 mean girls and mr & mrs smith
The red carpet for the Golden Globes was so hard to find on @paramountplus and once I found it, the coverage was awful
HELP REQUESTED! how is my younger brother turning 27 today if I still think I’m 27?
My family treats the start of a new survivor season more seriously than most major holidays.
And that was the moment I knew the code word for the #TSxCapitalOne #Giveaway! @CapitalOne, I’m ready to enter to see @taylorswift13 at #TSTheErasTour.
The first time your doctor is younger than you, you immediately grow 12 new gray hairs
I straightened my hair to go to the DMV for a new license picture like i didn’t just get my eyebrows waxed 2 hours before 🤡
Everytime I watch lord of the rings, I picture Elrond as Steve Tyler and honestly it’s not too far of a leap
Life expectancy should increase just because we get text reminders to actually go to these doctors appointments…no way my ass was remembering to add all existing appointments to a new calendar in January
My dad gave me 3 years advance notice that I will be kicked off the cellphone plan when he retires. Welcome to my new Twitter segment - 30 going on 13
Everyone giving 50 cent a hard time - needs to go look at a picture of themselves from 2003 and now 👀 fuckkk at least at one point he had a six pack
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