depressed girl's mind
@chaoticmind101sneak peak inside a depressed person's mind
"I'm okay. 😊" The biggest lie I have ever told and the biggest lie I will always tell.
she really makes me hate being alive. she really does.
trying to explain what really happened is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS useless to her. everything i do or say is wrong in her eyes anyway
was happy for a bit. just a bit. i regret it. she made me regret it.
but to do everything to take my method of enjoying my life is just..
i rarely talk to my friends too because we have our own lives and we all respect that. i only talk to them like 2-3 times a week? there are times that we don't talk after 2 weeks with how busy we are
and i can't just up and go meet my friends. i have to travel for more than 2 hours with 4 modes of transportation and a lot of money for commuting just to get where they are. i know doing all that is worth it but i just don't have that kind of money right now
the only things that make me happy these days are playing video games, reading mangas and watching youtube videos. I do all of that with my phone and laptop. this will sound really shallow but I will probably definitely kill myself if i lose those in the middle of this pandemic
imagine being an extremely depressed semi-adult living in the middle of a pandemic with literally only their laptop & phone as the only way to communicate to their friends. now imagine their parents doing everything they can to take those away. what do you think is gonna happen?
why do i always forget that i'm the unwanted person in this house?
she blames me for anything and everything bad or unlucky that happens in this house and our family. she's been blaming me for so long that i grew to believe her and i still do.
being depressed sucks. what others consider only as "hurtful words" are basically death sentences to me.
you really do make me regret the fact that i am still alive
you make me regret trying to have conversations with you because all you ever do is put me down and destroy all that i am with just a few words
if being alive means living like this then i'd rather be dead
i spend most of my time in bed not because i want to laze around but because i see no point in doing anything at all.
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