penguinsaintnatural
@carcalfanficI’m 37. I live in the northeast. Caroline Calloway is a disaster and I want to travel the world with her.
Just looking for someone to talk to. Big sloppy tits are for sure a bonus but by no means required.
this would do more for me than zoloft ever could
- there’s nothing funny about the “R” word. Jokes with that word are NOT funny. — First of all, that’s retarded. Secondly: youtu.be/A9vkDkyTHKM
I’ll sign a waiver if I have to
Hey guys don’t worry, I tweeted at Taylor asking for a rock album and may have suggested a Bruce Dickinson cameo. She’s gonna get back to me any minute now
Gimme gimme gimme
I’d commit war crimes for girls in comfy clothes
not to be all emo but this is very much me today
the effort is always appreciated
You know who you are
This would fix me
Please and thank you
Tinder for people 35-40 that’s just “ Hey I’m around, no fucking idea what I want. Are you also a broken millennial? Thats great, let’s commiserate on things being terrible”
Who wants to go apple picking and have boozy ciders next to a fire and make out? platonically of course.
lets make today a nice day
Taking applications please and thank you
Shotgunned my leftover beers outside of the San Diego airport with some random dudes because I can’t take them on the plane. Life is a lot of fun sometimes
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