sarcastic nihilist
@brundlegoatSarcastic scientist, armchair philosopher, wannabe gutter-writer, facetious and generally insufferable.
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Gener8 works fine as a browser but so far in the 6 months that I've used it I've never been able to redeem any points on gift cards (the only worthwhile incentive) because they sell immediately making it a lottery rather than a reward. @Gener8Ads #gener8
If there's going to be a year to announce a watered-down rehash of Firefly then of course it's going to be 2020. #fml #FireflyReboot #Firefly #Disney
Remember, before you arrange to take your bae out for #ValentinesDay, check that they are actually your partner and not a delusion brought on by loneliness and self-medication. #SafetyFirst #ValentinesDayDosAndDonts
#mondaymotivation tweets always fail to motivate me despite the undeniable motivation a glib phrase and irrelevant GIF should instill.
I’ve just thought of the best comeback for something someone said last spring. Probably too late.
He must have noticed that I wear headphones when he has lunch, not when I do. #CommunalOffices #Lunchtime #StopEatingOranges
This is literally all I want for xmas, but I don't normally write my list until April. @MariahCarey @AllIWantMovie
A 3rd of all kitchen accidents [citation needed] are due to Heinz tins not being stackable like ALL OTHER tins ever @HeinzUK #fridayfeeling
I am not a satirical or political comment. I am a piece of breaded fish with tartar sauce in a steamed bun. #IAmMajor #NoMessageWhatsoever
If a Matrix reboot cleanses our collective minds of Reloaded and Revolutions I'm all aboard. Lots of potential stories to tell #MatrixReboot
Communal offices are like public toilets. Everyone just wants some privacy and politely ignores each other’s bodily noises. #lunchatdesk
I don’t think sandwiches will ever catch on. #lunchtime #foodideas #innovation
So he speaks like a sanctimonious robot, doesn't mean he doesn't have a good point.
“We are monotonously told: ‘The British people have spoken.’ "No they haven’t!” – @RichardDawkins with our latest #Viewsnight #Brexit
It used to be @Cracked or @Buzzfeed but now @realdonaldtrump is the first place I check for comedy. #comedysites
The new time travel show #timeless is really derivative, cliched and uninspired. El ministerio del tiempor was better. #tvreview #television
The new time travel show #frequency is really derivative, cliched and uninspired. The movie was much better. #tvreview #television
The new time travel show #timeaftertime is really derivative, cliched and uninspired. The movie was much better. #tvreview #television
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