Brandy
@bpetrusI have no bio I read about a lot of pointless stuff then I tweet it
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2 reasons I don't give money to homeless people: 1. They would spend it on alcohol. 2. I want to spend it on alcohol.
With all the potato chip flavors they have out now, I see no reason to eat any other food.
How is it possible to fake entire relationships? I can't even fake a "hello" if I don't like a person.
I am transfinancial. That means I am a rich person born in a poor person's body. Stop the hate.
Pro tip: Always tell anyone who calls you that your phone is about to die. This way they get straight to the point.
It's ironic that I mostly use my drivers license to buy things that impair my ability to drive.
Ever notice how it's never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes.
I saw a guy take a bite out if a KitKat bar without breaking it apart. Sir, we live in a society with rules.
It's so annoying when you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them but they wont accept your friend request
What if bananas constantly fight for territory after you bring them home, and that's why they get bruised overnight
When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
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