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Daddy, where were you when the world ended? Hooo, boy, I remember it like it was just now. I was at Arbys sucking off a hobo. Enjoy Arbys
Wrigley Field will be loud tomorrow. RT this for your chance to win two tickets to #NLCS Game 6! #FlyTheW
I have two tickets for Tuesday's game and I want one of YOU to have them! Retweet this for a chance to come watch us in the NLCS! #FlyTheW
We’re giving away 5 prizes now and 5 later tonight at #WrigleyField100! RT this by 3 p.m. CT to enter for a jersey. http://t.co/gL2EAJMBPy
“@chicagobulls: In a precautionary move Doug McDermott is out tonight with a minor left foot injury. #NBASummerLeague”@WaddleandSilvy oh boy
On the 5th day of Soxmas, the #WhiteSox gave to me: 5 Holiday Ticket Packs. RETWEET to enter! atmlb.com/1aG1d1l http://t.co/962n7l9TAE
Manti Te'o: "I found new love through an email asking me to wire $600 to a stranger trapped in Manilla." onion.com/YnOi40
Halloween's over. On to the next holiday... THANKSKILLING!
If @jaycutler6 ran no huddle for a whole game, he'd easily throw for 600 yards. 300 of that to @BMarshall True story. #CutlerMashall2016
Nothing like starting the day by falling down the stairs.
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