sobolev serf
@bathsaltsmokerwhen the cocaine was pure, white ppl had rhythm
men. how can I convince you guys that you need to put on sunscreen every day. even if you're not going outside. even if it's a cloudy day. if you care at all about your skin you need to put on sunscreen every day. how can I convince you
[gf, software engineer, $200,000/year, talking with coworkers]: Yeah, my bf is between jobs right now but he’s looking so hard! I’m so proud of him! [me, drunk as shit at 9:00 am and lost in the woods, about to pet a skunk from behind]: damn, this cat smoke Loud ass hhell
"you cheated on me in my dream"
i don't get why people complain about biden being too old to be president so much, decrepit and senile men have led countries for centuries. the problem is that biden has a decentralized and plodding hr bureaucracy steering him instead of one high agency devious court eunuch
Dad: I dont wanna say the R word but our boys- Mom w/ a huge glass of wine: Retarded. Our sons retarded. 26 years old in his room yelling about Ploon Scrooby Dad: Jesus Sharon Me in my room recording a Star Wars rap album, auto tuned to sound like a robot: Dark Vader on da mic
There's cats everywhere in this city. And that's very nice. The people are civilized to them I don't think we can have cats in American cities. I think our underclass would harm them.
He came from nothing. He conquered everything.
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