@ausxpm Profile picture

randy

@ausxpm

crock pot pro | big fan of microsoft excel, live music, and airline snacks

Joined September 2011
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randy Reposted

you’re SOTU thousand and late


randy Reposted

“Mom, what was it like hearing the SEC on CBS theme song before the big game?”


my very excellent mother just served us nine pizzas and that, my friends, is why we now have planet fitness


* @ChickfilA deciding not to cancel the side salad* Me:

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randy Reposted

If you come across a bear, never push a slower friend down…even if you feel the friendship has run its course.⁣⁣


has anyone heard from denise richards recently


randy Reposted

gonna name a cat denise but it’s short for “I wouldn’t be surprised if we never heard from denise richards again”


bring back talking to your seat neighbors on the plane ‼️


as a former fraternity president who ran unruly chapter meetings in a house with members not unlike our congress, I feel duly qualified to serve our great nation as Speaker of the House. consider this an expression of interest


randy Reposted

My personal fav is that’s a pisser


randy Reposted

I saw Mall of America trending and just knew. Of course there's a shooting at Mall of America on Christmas weekend. What could be more American?


TIRED

What’s it called when you’re introverted but have taken on numerous leadership and outgoing roles your whole life? 😂



randy Reposted

teeter got her bar. #YellowstoneTV


anybody wanna go christmas caroling? we’re singing record year by @ericchurch


staying with my mom the past three weeks has taught me 3 things: 1/I can fix more stuff around the house than I thought 2/ #Yellowstone is totally worth the hype and 3/Avoiding Daytime TV commercials will keep me employed at least another 30 years.


randy Reposted

Congrats! You were in the top 1% of Customers who actually remained seated until it was your row's turn to de-board this year.


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