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Ya girl just got a 5 dollar raise at work 🤩🤩🤩🤩 this is the best Tuesday I’ve had in a while 🤣
ppl hate valentine’s day like it’s the only day of the year no one loves them
Twitter always showing me I’m not alone, I literally asked for a new vacuum for Christmas this year
One minute you’re young and listening to Broccoli at a house party with a backpack full of booze, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum.
“No one cares that I’m gay”
hello I would just like the twitter sphere to know i’m gay. If you don’t like this you’re homophobic
Literally spent 4 hours last night researching crabgrass and how to get rid of it. What has my life become
Why the fuck is it called the restroom I am fighting for my life in here
Had an older lady telling me about how her granddaughter is making so much money as an “internet streamer” who works “graveshifts” twice a week and lives downtown by herself. Um granny I think your granddaughter has an onlyfans
Just spent 100 dollars on lawn seed and toilet seats 😐 being a homeowner is not all it’s cracked up to be, let me tell you.
People think they’re performing stand up when it’s time to write a Venmo description
We’ve abolished child labor, now it’s time to do away with adult labor
i just reversed into a parking spot i am so talented funny and sexy
Had a week off from work to “relax” and now I’m the most stressed I’ve been in a long time 🙂🙂
💅🏻💅🏻
Baby I got Amazon Prime & an air fryer.. you not finna talk to me any kinda fuckin way
If you don’t have a New Years resolution yet, may I suggest flossing everyday of 2021 ✨
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