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@emo__girlfriend
@sarahecasto
me to the waiter: excuse me, my onion rings? waiter: ?? answer it then?
how it feels to still be talking about challengers in october
me when I’m a pirate and I see a dead bird on the ship
it’s been, “i’ll definitely finish this book today :)” every day for the past 3 days 🧍🏾♀️
[GLASS SHATTERING] [TIRE SCREECHES] [BUILDINGS FALLING] GOOD GOD [GENERAL COMMOTION] [SCREAMING] [SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOO [BABY CRYING] WAAAAH WAAAAAAAAH !!! [TREES FALLING] WE'RE REPORTING LIVE ON THE SCENE– [CAR CRASHING] MY LEG MY LEG !!!
!['s tweet image. [GLASS SHATTERING] [TIRE SCREECHES] [BUILDINGS FALLING] GOOD GOD [GENERAL COMMOTION] [SCREAMING] [SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOO [BABY CRYING] WAAAAH WAAAAAAAAH !!! [TREES FALLING] WE'RE REPORTING LIVE ON THE SCENE– [CAR CRASHING] MY LEG MY LEG !!!](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GVMqnEfXMAA8zwr.jpg)
(i’m talking to you allie)
What happened while I was cleaning my house, paper towelically, can never happen again
what happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again
having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you
*looks at my bank account* this is going to ruin the tour
[taking you aside after your joke flops] You're almost out of the friend group
and when you see me shit talking men who wear plain suits to the met gala never ever am i talking about this lovely man right here
"don't piss me off" might be my favourite thing to say
“is this a joke to you” unfortunately everything is a little bit of a joke to me
it’s one of the great cosmic mysteries. how it is that someone can go from being a total stranger, to being the most important person in your life. #onedaynetflix #oneday
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