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I totally agreed when trinidad james said “popped a molly, I’m sweatin”
they called me a super spreader before the pandemic too (talkin about my asshole!)
absolutely no recollection of waking up in the middle of the night to write this
just got my dental bill in the mail........... can I have my cavities back??
my sister asked me how I’m dressing tonite and I told her casual so she doesn’t look better than me
me: jobless with no income, still providing gifts for all 5 of my siblings and their SOs my brother: a six-figure salary accountant, farting into his hand and throwing it at me
I think my sister calling my bleached eyebrows “high fashion” was really just code for ugly
my tattoo gun is up and running so if anyone is looking to make a mistake they will regret for the rest of their lives I am happy to provide that experience
got shocked while unplugging the vacuum and now my brain is thinking solely in equations
starting a tolerance break and no! it has nothing to do with the guy who works at the weed shop instantly greeting me by name when I walked in
woke up to horrendous, blood-curdling screams coming from outside my window, anyway hope I can go back to my dream of being an ice cube in zendaya’s freezer
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