@alk0pops Profile picture

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@alk0pops

tw for some things, including suicide, self harm, ed's • i actually have borderline • socially awkward vent , 25

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the lonelier and more isolated i am and get, the worse my thoughts and body dysmorphia get really sucks i don't have friends or anyone to spend time with


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i could do this and still not feel clean after being sexually assaulted for years



i feel so fucking disgusting and fat and nasty and gross for not being able to work out at my mom's place i haven't been binging as much as i usually do but i still eat more at her place than at mine and i hate myself for it, i hate myself for being a fat fucking pig


i'll be saggy and disgusting and fat and ugly and nasty and ruined and scarred forever there's nothing that could make anything undone the nastiness ugliness and saggyness will always be there will stay forever


i'm convinced i will never not have body dysmorphia, i can't be cured, i'm doomed to be disordered forever because i'll be ugly and disgusting forever


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I don’t know who I am anymore


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me looking at thinspo


sisters boyfriend made a comment about my eyebrows and how they get smaller every time he sees me, and i honestly feel disgusting knowing he perceives me and that i get perceived in general


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i’m a victim of this

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all i ever i feel on my body are fat and sagging, it's the only thing i feel i'm disgusting, so goddamn fucking disgusting


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today's to do list: - overthink - remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember and remember…


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im just going to kill myself i think


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"you're underweight! please eat?" my "underweight" body:

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𝒾𝒻 𝒾 𝓌ℴ𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓈𝒶𝓎 𝒾 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝓉 ℴ𝓇 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉ℯ𝒹 𝓉ℴ 𝓁ℴ𝓈ℯ 𝓌ℯ𝒾ℊ𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝓌ℴ𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂ℯ 𝓅𝓇ℯ𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒾 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓀𝓃ℯ𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓎 𝓌ℴ𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒹ℴ 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝓁ℴℴ𝓀 𝓁𝒾𝓀ℯ 𝓂ℯ.

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