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When people hear my name wrong I just go with it and pretend to be Alice for a while
Buying groceries for myself (and knowing that I have meatballs to come home to) is a feeling like no other. I could cry! In a good way.
Are self-employed people ALWAYS pooping on company time?
I still vividly remember the last CD I ever burned
The DMV provides the perfect cross section of Los Angeles
I get to ride a horse tomorrow and I’m so excited about it!! 😭
I stepped in major amounts of ketchup.... I hope.... 😟
Why does going to the doctors office feel like getting bullied 🤔
A stitch not in time is still better than no stitch
meet you there in my dreams tonight bby. Damn I could fuck some Chili’s up right about now
Oh yeah like YOU’VE never eaten toothpaste before
Lots of Christmas songs have the word dong in them
I swear to god I’m ALWAYS feeling earthquakes no one else does!!!
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