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$platypus

@alanapocalypse

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$platypus Reposted

idk if they taught you this at harvard, but obesity is not a contagious disease, nor is there a simple vaccine for obesity. isn't your wife a doctor?


this is the funniest clip from today :'(

“It’s a revolution” girl you’re acting like a toddler because you didn’t get your way. How embarrassing ☕️



Which stage of quarantine is the one where I steam-clean my bathroom ceiling?


When’s the @RLGRIME b2b @baauer virtual set?


150” so I can work longer, so I can earn more....@killthenoise @BeyondWland

Tweet Image 1

Oh, this debate isn’t even for the people.

“It’s a revolution” girl you’re acting like a toddler because you didn’t get your way. How embarrassing ☕️



These debates aren’t helping. No one gets to give detailed answers on policy, they’re just making sound bites and appealing to emotion. #DemDebate2020


Why is Steyer still on the debate stage taking up time??? He’s basically just a pundit up there, he’s not contributing. #DemocraticDebate


$platypus Reposted

canvassing today, met a felon. his wife, after seconds of talking about very basic policies/human rights, will be voting for bernie in the primary. she asked "why have i never heard that these are bernie's plans?" and he piped up "them news people hate his jew ass."


Anyone else waiting on that @KaitMarieox enlistment contract? 😂


Is @diplo auditioning for a spot at DBC on @EDC_LasVegas main stage rn? @DirtybirdCamp


Sitting in the rose garden in heels isn’t “going to Coachella.”

“It’s a revolution” girl you’re acting like a toddler because you didn’t get your way. How embarrassing ☕️



Flume & Friends: Register for Exclusive Presale Access & WIN VIP Tickets + a Meet & Greet with Harley!: arep.co/1ZLbV1


$platypus Reposted

Friday


Compliment the next girl you see wearing space buns. It took her about 3 days to get them even and her arms are sore af.


Guess I’ll just miss @gjonesbass and @Excision even though I woke up at 4am to get in line at 3:30pm. This preparty is what sold me on buying tix this year. How are you going to make this up to us? @insomniacevents @PasqualeRotella


$platypus Reposted

Edc retweeting all the good shit & ignoring these pleas for help from the camping line


Why is the Costco parking lot the most terrible place on Earth?


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