Rice and Chicken
@_NickDawsonA philosopher formerly known as ᖇᎥᑕᗴ ᗩᑎᗪ ᑕᕼᎥᑕᛕᗴᑎ. Noah’s ark denier/Cyber Bullier/Certified Munch
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matt walsh has never had a friend drunkenly say "i love you dude, you're the best" and that explains so much about his everything
Person talking about Tame Impala or Santa, “you know it’s just one guy?”
you know Jimmy Carter only served one term he could run again
Speed running anger issues rn. I’m building ikea furniture while sitting on hold with AT&T
Lamisil - It's Alive (2003, USA) youtu.be/3h1O7-r7Wrw?si… via @YouTube
i see a goose that’s absolutely fucken zooted
Drinking milk with a meal is the adult version of eating glue as a kid
Stop saying you don't have money to gamble with. There has to be something in your house right now that you can sell for some quick cash. You just have to want it bad enough.
a lot of you wouldn’t have to imagine
Never forget when Post Malone casually played a banjo in a pub when he was in Ireland
Biggest take away from the Grammys so far is that Lenny Kravitz and I have the same belly button
Shane’s ability to be a big lib who codes as a conservative continuously fools the most culture war happy people on the planet
NEW: Bud Light appears to be in desperation mode, partners with right-leaning comedian Shane Gillis. Remarkable. Gillis, who is a polar opposite from Dylan Mulvaney, is popular for his gay jokes and pro-conservative takes. “Gay Vikings. Dude, you're just some villager looking…
If your girlfriend ever asks you what superhero she would be DO NOT say she hulk
Your unemployed friend at 2 PM on a Tuesday
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