off the damn loud and we ain’t finna boo bop
@ZzijGodTandem bicycle farter
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I am across the street in Echo Park naked as the day I was born jacking off while I look in the windows of this coffee shop
Been gone so long. Is twitter dead?
Rehab is cool if you ever get addicted to cocaine and want to quit and have an understanding family and job and have an insurance plan that will cover it and you want to quit doing cocaine
Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.
If you set a spike strip to stop Herbie the love bug would he feel pain driving over it?
A handjob from someone with webbed hands would go so hard
Your dad jacks off to Dua Lipa
Every team should have to play 10 preseason games in the NFL. Every team from every sport, every year.
I did a standup set while jumping through a bunch of alternate realities on ketamine. It was not a good set
I met my wife after she gave me CPR at the public pool
There’s a serial killer in my area targeting gay people. Be careful out there y’all. The killer is also saying y’all a lot these days
Remember when presidential nominees would sit down and have a beer with like a plumber from middle America or some guy named something like Ken Bone
The seam of my work shorts™️ has lined up perfectly with the seam on my scrotum
All white guys are a little gay
When John Cougar Mellencamp said “suckin’ off a chilli dog” I felt that
My favorite Shelley Duvall role was Gollum from the LOTR trilogy
He ended up killing her
Joe Biden is doing a Mr. Magoo bit you stupid idiots
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Who to follow
-
gobblin' cum (does not skip thanksgiving)
@nutslushy -
The Wholesome One
@TiaThePresident -
uncle
@dongtrumpet -
woody
@LeeHOswald69 -
biotruth sayer
@lying_position -
Cliff
@cuckold69420 -
711 Loiterer
@711Loiterer -
Freddy Fathands
@FreddyFathandz -
Squirt Beefy😈
@notarapistjk -
Large Marge
@large_marge_69 -
Riley
@GiganticPingu -
ƨɘqɒɿວ ⑁ɟɒɘᗡ💀🍇
@deathgrapes111 -
iPad Baby
@FullShmuck -
Lord Horde
@lord_horde -
New World 🌎 Hoarder
@momandpoppsyop
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