@ZzijGod Profile picture

off the damn loud and we ain’t finna boo bop

@ZzijGod

Tandem bicycle farter

Joined December 2021
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Pinned

I am across the street in Echo Park naked as the day I was born jacking off while I look in the windows of this coffee shop


Been gone so long. Is twitter dead?


Rehab is cool if you ever get addicted to cocaine and want to quit and have an understanding family and job and have an insurance plan that will cover it and you want to quit doing cocaine


off the damn loud and we ain’t finna boo bop Reposted

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.


If you set a spike strip to stop Herbie the love bug would he feel pain driving over it?


A handjob from someone with webbed hands would go so hard


Every team should have to play 10 preseason games in the NFL. Every team from every sport, every year.


I did a standup set while jumping through a bunch of alternate realities on ketamine. It was not a good set


I met my wife after she gave me CPR at the public pool


There’s a serial killer in my area targeting gay people. Be careful out there y’all. The killer is also saying y’all a lot these days


Remember when presidential nominees would sit down and have a beer with like a plumber from middle America or some guy named something like Ken Bone


The seam of my work shorts™️ has lined up perfectly with the seam on my scrotum


When John Cougar Mellencamp said “suckin’ off a chilli dog” I felt that


My favorite Shelley Duvall role was Gollum from the LOTR trilogy


He ended up killing her

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Joe Biden is doing a Mr. Magoo bit you stupid idiots


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