What I’ll Remember About Your Shitty Movie.
@WhatShittySo many shitty movies, so little time. Exhausted from Super Hero Fatigue. Why are there so many good TV shows? Cuts into my movie time. #WIRAYSM
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THE BATMAN: Riddles were good. Can you get it down to 2.5 hours? Holy hell I was nodding off during the climax. That’s what she said…
MID 90’s: Was a pretty shitty movie all around. No climax, stupid little character traits of zero consequence, and a horrible message. Worst ending of all time. JH, stick with acting and producing. No way in hell this gets made without his star power. #mid90’s #wiraysm
MIDSOMMAR: Holy hell it was creepy but laugh out loud silly as well. What more can you say about this half-pile of feces? The mushroom tripping scenes were well done, I’ll give it that, but the rest was pretty dumb and predictable. #MidsommarMovie #wiraysm
JOHN WICK 3: Fucking hell it was awesome. Wick takes some licks and keep on ticking.
AVENGERS END GAME: literally creamed myself in a masked-crusader mind-blowing climactic jizz-inducing cornucopia of awesomeness. The lady behind me was literally weeping at the end. I about turned around and told her to get a fucking life. #wiraysm #AvergersEndgame
US: Alright, JP is pretty bright and the movie is smart. Seems like a social commentary on black on black violence, among other things. Just pointing out they could’ve just killed the family in the beginning of the second act. So for that reason... it’s a shitty movie!
GLASS: Oh, OK, you’re trying to trick the super heros into thinking they’re mentally disturbed so you can kill them. Makes sense. Couldn’t you just kill them? Are you trying to be Stan Lee with the cameo? Stop, just stop.
CONTRABAND: Kinda fun. Predictable as hell. They would know it’s worth a ton of that was the only thing in the armored truck.
CREED 2: Fuck you. Sly has made so much money on this formulaic garbage. Get off the mat. It’s the fight of your life. Blah blah blah.
OCEANS 8: Sandra Bullock looked like Michael Jackson. Kept thinking of that song: “sex with me is so amazing” when Rhiana got dolled up.
CHRISTOPHER ROBIN: I fell asleep in the theatre holding my 4-year-old. Woke up at the sound of my farting on the leather. “What day is it?” “Today.” My girl liked that quote.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: FALL OUT: the first half of the movie was pretty good. Tom can still run faster than any human. Why does the bad guy always have to catch the hook holding up the plane from falling off the cliff? #wiraysm
THE EDGE OF 17: Woody Harrelson was funny. Why did he drive her to his house and not just take her home... oh so she could see how stable he is and how wrong she was... kind of dumb.
MOLLY’S GAME: I liked the poker stuff. Did her character transform? Not sure she did.
BABY DRIVER: All the bad guys died. He’s a good driver blah blah blah. Great soundtrack. #babydriver #wiraysm
THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI: The scene where Francis tells the Priest to get out of her house was classic. Some decent dark humor. Some not so much-“I hope I get raped.” A lot of it was unbelievable-5k per month? They had been vacant since the 80’s. #wiraysm
SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING: OK. I’ll remember Michael Keaton has gone full circle from Batman to villian. #wiraysm #spiderman
INCREDIBLES 2: The baby was cute and funny. I saw the twist a million miles away... and was wrong. Wasn’t too shitty. #wiraysm #Incredibles2
DEADPOOL 2: Fell flat. Even the comedian guy was off. 4th wall was entertaining a couple times. I liked it when DP’s back went the opposite way. #Deadpool2 #wiraysm
THE DISASTER ARTIST: I can see why it didn’t get nominated for an Oscar despite the hype. Was kind of entertaining.
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