Mattie Briggs
@VonMattieEvery time I try to define a perfectly stable person, I am appalled by the dullness of that person. -J. D. Griffin
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If you don't know your own worth and value, do not expect someone else to calculate it for you.
Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.
What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough? Mmm. Canapes.
Never call a girl fat, ugly, or worthless. They will never forget that.
Q: What is the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? A: Jewelry.
Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music.
Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.
What's the difference between the Easter Bunny and a silly monster? One's a hare-head and the other's an air-head!
Ref: I'm sending you off Player: What for? Ref: The rest of the match!
Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful? Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for hours at a time!
What's the difference between a monster and a mouse? A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
Troilism is the erotic interest in watching one's romantic partner engage in sexual behavior with a 3rd party
Gymnasiums were introduced in 900BC and Greek athletes practised in the nude to the accompaniment of music.
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