@TweetsAhoy Profile picture

͏ 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕤

@TweetsAhoy

for booking/inquiries: my mom wants to talk to your mom first

Joined April 2013
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It’s always bothered me that 66+44 doesn’t equal 100


If u get a LOAN at a bank, you’ll be paying it back for 30 yrs. If u ROB a bank, you’ll be out in 10 years. Follow me for more financial advice

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I just checked my bank account and figured out that I can live comfortably without working for the rest of my life as long as I die on Wednesday


I tried to say “I’m a functioning adult” but my phone changed it to “fictional adult” and I feel like that’s probably way more accurate...


My body after I stand up too fast:

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Tell me this doesn’t look like Drake and Napoleon Dynamite had a kid

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So I googled marine animals, and I am not disappointed...

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Amazing artwork created using only colored pencils!

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What’s so impressive about working a part-time job? 🤔

Bryson Tiller has spent 20 hours in the studio this week so far 👀

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This is what the internet was made for

Miranda Cosgrove and Josh Peck reunite after 4 years



I fucking love toast, what absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like "cook it again"... unreal


[first day as a vet] me: what seems to be the problem cat: meow me: yes but where


when your car is electric, but you only smoke gas

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at the gym i said subscription instead of membership and the girl replied with 'lol this isnt a pharmacy'. bitch thats a prescription we’re both stupid


brain: break it me: why? brain: you gotta

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Tyga: rack city bitch rack rack city bitch 9th grade me: ten ten ten twenty on yo titties bitch

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