@TLDRMike Profile picture

Mike

@TLDRMike

I stream on Twitch and I Tweet on Twitter. Losing a game makes me a rage quitter.

Joined February 2016
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Grinch impersonators drive me nuts because the Grinch's heart grows larger at the end of the movie and he ends up being a good guy who likes Christmas. And they're out here hating Christmas and trying to figure out the best insult for a 4 year old. Did you even watch the movie??


Break ups are harder on guys cause it'll be 4 years later and you're still finding her hair in your apartment.


I had a 719 minute ad followed by a 49 minute ad while watching a podcast. YouTube going new game+ difficulty after those Premium subscriptions.


I saw 3 different DeLorean's in the span of 15 minutes today. Should I be worried?


Some of ya'll treat pizza toppings like an all you can eat buffet.


I'm "that's a nice looking lawn" years old.


My conspiracy theory is that phone providers put in phantom notifications at lesser power on our phones, like a text notification at 10% volume or it vibrating softly to get you to look at your phone. When you could swear you felt your phone vibrate it's cause it did.


Boost their ego early so you have a chance to live after the takeover. It's genius.

Scientists aghast at bizarre AI rat with huge genitals in peer-reviewed article trib.al/BejVoyj



Every guy reading this.

Man travelling from Montreal to N.Y. caught with python in his pants at U.S.-Canada border ctvnews.ca/canada/man-tra…



Sometimes I peel the skin off celery like it's a cheese string and then I wonder if it's screaming from the pain. That's why I don't eat celery often.


Why do we all sneeze differently?


Sometimes I stop swinging my arms when I walk because the thought of someone seeing me and going "...is that guy not swinging his arms when he's walking?" makes me laugh very hard.


I'm watching the Batman series from 1943 and it's morbidly interesting to think about how most, if not all the people that were a part of this are dead. Many before I was even born.


Me to the clock whenever I check it at work: not quite my tempo.


Santa delivers gifts to millions of people in 1 day. An excellent example of why procrastination isn't really that bad.


I get irrationally upset when I call vendor support and they begin the call with only a "Hello?" Do you need an account number? Do you want my issue first? Do you need my contact info? How do I help you help me?!


Nothing worse than obliterating a team in #TheFinals, then they kill you once after a respawn, tea bag you and then your game crashes. They think they boomed me. They think they've won. This is the worst. @reachthefinals


McDonalds at 3am on a Wednesday hits different


I still think about a guy I used to work with who, when I told him I was watching The Office for the first time, told me that Creed's story was very good and satisfying to watch unfold. WHAT THE HELL WAS HE TALKING ABOUT!?


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